I constantly feel "behind". Like I'm trying to catch up with everyone else. At school, I'm settling in with a class of 27 second graders. Translation = I'm running my ass off all day to keep them controlled and learning at all times. I pump while I scarf down a sandwich and leave the remainders of my lunch in my lunch box. I'll save the rest for tomorrow's lunch, I always think. Then, it's Friday and the granola bar that I packed on Monday has been hanging out in my lunchbox all week. At the end of each day, I quickly prioritize what must be done so I can get out of there and get Natalie. I leave the remainders of my to-do list on my desk....I'll save those for tomorrow. The granola bar and my to-do list have the same fate, apparently.
Evenings are a wild whirlwind of feed the baby, play with baby, bathe the baby, put baby to bed, make lunch, lay out clothes, pack the diaper bag, pack the school bag, squeeze in a couple of chores (my house is falling apart all around me!), try to summon up an intelligible conversation with my hubby, then collapse into the bed. Set the alarm for 5:25am so we can start it all over again. I am literally more exhausted than I have ever been. More exhausted than life with a newborn, people. We're talkin' T.I.R.E.D. The good news is that Natalie is tired, too, after her adventures at daycare all day. We both sleep like rocks all night long.
I am already longing for the next day off school. Or, for this "adjustment period" to be over. Because that's all this is, right? RIGHT?!?
Our night looked like this: I rushed home to feed Natalie and feed myself before heading back to work for Back-to-School Night. Mark's phone was exploding because of an emergency on a job he's running. He finds out he needs to take a shop-vac to the job site. When he goes to the basement to get the shop-vac, he sees that our floor drain the basement is backed up and flooding the carpet in the finished part. Which means I have to leave him with a fussy, tired baby and a soggy basement because I can't miss Back-to-School Night. Roto-Rooter still isn't here (at 9:30pm). We can't run any water until the drain in the basement is snaked out -- which means the sink is full of dishes, Natalie's bathtub is still full of her bath water, and the load of laundry that I had planned to wash is definitely on hold. Can't even flush the toilet. Not to mention, I don't even know how we are going to pay for the plumbing services. Everytime we catch up a little and I think, okay, we can do this....we're gonna make it....we'll be fine...we are slammed with another big unexpected expense. Mark is back at work, dealing with the mess there. I am blogging - it's either that, or crawl in my bed and never come out!
When will this all end??!?! This year has been the hardest of my life. I feel like I am living with a black cloud over my head....just waiting for the next storm to come raining down.
Yes, very negative post. Sometimes a girl's gotta vent. Sorry!
Obligatory cute baby pictures. Yes, that makes everything better. :)
This too, shall pass.
(my mantra these days!)